Quietly Contrary

This week’s column for the Western Itasca Review.

I also read this on KAXE 91.7 during “Between You and Me”. You can listen to it HERE.

January 25th, 2012

Quietly Contrary: Mama Can’t Sing

By Mary Eileen Finch

I was having trouble writing my weekly radio essay for KAXE. This week the topic was “Your Five Favorite Things” based on Sarah MacRostie’s facebook page “5 Things”, which encourages people to post five things that they appreciate. I just couldn’t focus on my task because every time I sat down to write all that would pop into my head as Julie Andrews singing “These are a few of my favorite things.” It was quite distracting.

Then I ended up having to drive to Duluth that week. The road to Duluth is not what I would ever refer to as entertaining. Long, straight, swampy, and an endless dead forest just doesn’t do it for me. The radio helps of course but there is a limit and once I reach that I find myself doing crazy things. Like rewriting songs and then singing them out loud while thinking “Hmmmm, not bad. Not bad at all.” Boredom will do that to a person.

So, yes. I rewrote the song that had been stuck in my head for days. And I should have left it at that but well…what’s the second part of my title? Contrary. That’s right. I decide that I was tired of hiding my horrible vocals. Why should those that have no musical talent be forced to only burst out into song while showering or driving? “I’m going to sing my song on air to show that it’s OK to be silly and happy, even if you have the worst voice in the world.” I told myself.

And I did. And my singing was awful. But that didn’t matter. What mattered was I stepped out of that box that society places us in sometimes. “Sorry, you can’t sing so you need to stay in here and lip sync so as to not offend those who can tell that you’re off tune.” It was quite freeing. I was still expecting a lot of negative feedback after my song aired. I’m pleased to announce though, that instead I received numerous positive comments instead. Listeners were quick to point out that while I most certainly shouldn’t quit my day job, it warmed their heart to hear such an adorable representation of the musically challenged.

Below is the song I re-wrote. I’d advise you to just stick with reading it, though if you so desire you can go online and listen to the clip where I “sing” these words. Keep in mind though, that you have been warned and I will in no way be responsible for any shattered windows or blown out speakers that occur if you do such a thing.

“Orange juice that’s pulpy and chocolate that’s dark
Warm fuzzy stockings and rich almond bark
Cute little birds with bright colored wings
These are just five of my favorite things!

Sweet morning kisses and big fluffy pillows
Pizzas and salads and the leaves of a willow
Long mild winters that remind me of Spring
These are just five of my favorite things!

Finding great bargains and organic whole foods
A house full of children all in good moods
A friend on the line when the telephone rings
These are just five of my favorite things!

When it’s Monday, and I wish it were Sunday
When I’m feeling sad,
I simply remember my five favorite things
And then I don’t feeeeeel, SO bad!”

Recording at KAXE 91.7 Northern Community Radio